“OK, Boomer” — the opening shot in the generational war
There has always been tension among different generations, but over the last few weeks things have started turning ugly. Center director Jeffrey Cole dives into the fray.
By Jeffrey Cole
It’s not news that we live in a divided country. Historians say we are looking at the most significant and dangerous divides since the Civil War 150 years ago. What’s truly alarming is that some believe that another Civil War is not a far-fetched idea.
In my lifetime, the divides between the left and the right, or between Democrats and Republicans, have never been so acute or dangerous. We watch different media, collect separate (and opposing) facts, believe in different science, and, most worrisome of all, want to see the other side destroyed or weakened to the point of irrelevance.
Every presidential election since 2000 (and some before) has seen people make the case that the future of democracy rests on the outcome because the other side is an existential threat. The 2020 election may be the most contentious and ugly campaign ever.
The divide extends to the super rich and the rest of us. Never have the gaps in income and assets been so great. The top one percent of the country makes 188 times what the bottom 90% makes and the problem is getting worse. Billionaires (previously thought of as the people who can fix America—like Warren Buffet or Bill Gates) are now seen as enemies.
The merits of capitalism are being seriously questioned for the first time since the Great Depression as some of the presidential candidates call for wealth taxes, free college, health care for all regardless of the ability to pay, and other measures designed to reduce wealth inequality. Bernie Sanders came right out and said, “There should be no billionaires.”
The gaps extend to urban versus rural, highly educated versus less educated (in many ways these echo the political and income divides), as well as religious versus non-religious.
A major part of the problem is that neither side makes an effort to understand the people in the country who are on the other side. Religious Christians feel persecuted, seeing themselves ridiculed for their beliefs and even believing in a “war against Christmas.” The secular part of the population believes the religious right wants to impose their beliefs about behavior, sexuality, and politics on the rest of the country.
Even our information and beliefs come from a highly divided source: the media. Watching coverage of the House of Representatives impeachment hearings on CNN and Fox News is to experience two completely distinct realities with little resemblance to each other. How can we find common ground or respect if we use different facts and experiences to form our opinions? In the 1980s, the late Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan said, “Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.”
Another divide
In the last year or so we have seen the opening of a significant and dangerous new divide that is independent of politics or status: generational.
There has always been friction between younger and older generations, dating back to the beginning of civilization and mostly seen in parent-child relationships. There is an old joke about what unites grandparents and grandchildren: a common enemy.
The divide we are starting to see is much more significant, and it’s getting ugly. In the center ring are the Boomers (1946-1964) and the Millennials (1981-1996). These are the two massive generations that affected and distended everything they touched by their sheer size. Off to the sides are two smaller generations: Generation X (1965-1980) and Generation Z (1997-)
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In my lifetime, the divides between the left and the right, or between Democrats and Republicans, have never been so acute or dangerous. We watch different media, collect separate (and opposing) facts, believe in different science, and, most worrisome of all, want to see the other side destroyed or weakened to the point of irrelevance.
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The Millennials make the case that from the time the Boomers were born (as the new hope after the Second World War) they sucked all the oxygen out of everything. The great promise they demonstrated in the 1960s to build a better and more equal society got caught up in greed, self-absorption, and broken promises. Rather than making the world better, the Boomers exacerbated all its problems. Moreover, they do not want to retire (some cannot afford to) and make way for their children and grandchildren.
The Boomers see the Millennials as self-obsessed, spoiled, and a generation that can only be motivated to work if they are coddled and indulged. Boomers attribute this to helicopter parenting and “winning a trophy for showing up.” Boomers make fun of the Millennials “living in their parents’ basements” (also an issue of affordability) and never cutting the umbilical cord.
Some of this friction is normal and natural; it’s how for thousands of years children begin the separation from their parents. It can be seen in simple things such as music. One of the ways we distinguish ourselves from our parents is by listening to music that causes the parents to say, “How can you listen to that crap?” It was the Boomers’ parents who loved the jazz that their parents found “dangerous,” while the Boomers themselves loved rock and roll, which their parents heard as loud noise. Millennials adopted rap and hip hop, which their parents demeaned as not really music.
Younger people also chose different cars so as not to follow their parents’ life choices. The first time I “felt old” was when I read in the 1990s that teenagers didn’t want their parents’ cars, which were Toyotas and Hondas. To me, a Boomer, our parents’ cars were Oldsmobiles and Buicks: the Toyotas and the Hondas were the cool cars. But the Millennials wanted cars that had no association with their parents: Acuras and Subarus. Proving this point, Buick’s biggest market today is China (the cars are made there) where they have no history as their parent’s car. In China, Buicks are cool.
Generational friction or difference is nothing new. What is new is the intensity.
OK, Boomer…
In the past few months, Millennials have translated much of their growing anger (it’s more than frustration) into the phrase “OK, Boomer,” which is designed to be dismissive, withering, and condescending while communicating “you just don’t get it.” Personally, as a Boomer, I find the phrase funny and appreciate that Millennials have found a way to get under our skin.
But it’s getting ugly out there, demonstrating that we have gone far beyond normal generational friction.
Earlier this month, in the New Zealand Parliament, 25-year-old Chlöe Swarbrick was speaking about the Zero Carbon Bill when she was heckled by her older peers. She stopped her speech to dismissively bellow “OK, Boomer,” and moved on.
Then, last week, my friend, Myrna Blyth (who runs all the editorial content at AARP’s Media, which includes the largest circulation magazine in the world) was talking about the extraordinary growth of AARP’s media properties, and why appealing to people over 50 makes great business sense. She pointed out, “OK, Millennials, but we’re the people who actually have the money.”
Blyth hit a sore spot for Millennials by referencing the enormous wealth disparity between the generations. While the facts completely support Blyth’s claim, it is still a difficult fact for Millennials to confront.
Different technology habits for different generations
In the issues that we focus on at the Center for the Digital Future, there are immense differences in how Millennials and Boomers use technology.
The digital divide between who uses computers, smartphones, and tablets has largely disappeared. The majority of people in America who are not online (seven percent) are over the age of 65 (especially over 80), but almost all people over 65 are online. Even those older people not online are usually online adjacently through a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor.
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The Millennials make the case that from the time the Boomers were born (as the new hope after the Second World War) they sucked all the oxygen out of everything. The great promise they demonstrated in the 1960s to build a better and more equal society got caught up in greed, self-absorption, and broken promises. The Boomers see the Millennials as self-obsessed, spoiled, and a generation that can only be motivated to work if they are coddled and indulged.
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The bigger difference is in how the different generations use technology. Part of this divide has been going on for a very long time. Until recently, everyone watched television, even though what they watched was often completely different with no overlap (in the 1990s, Friends or Seinfeld for younger Americans versus Murder, She Wrote or Matlock for older Americans).
Today, Millennials and Gen Z spend almost all their television time streaming on their own schedule, while linear television still makes up a large percentage of the Boomer media diet. It is Boomers who are still reading newspapers and magazines (although that is shrinking).
And while Boomers and those older have smartphones, they are much more likely to use their phones to make voice calls than Millennials and Gen Z, who consider it rude to make voice calls unannounced. Try getting a Millennial to answer their phone without a warning text.
All age groups use social media, but almost everyone over 40 goes to Facebook. Those under 35 use Snap, TikTok, and other services they would prefer their parents not know. The Center’s work went viral 15 years ago when we argued that teenagers left Facebook for no reason other than that their parents began showing up there. We called this the nightclub effect: no teens want to be at a nightclub where they might run into their parents.
When Evan Spiegel created Snapchat, he was well aware of the nightclub effect. He deliberately made it difficult for parents to learn how to use Snapchat in order to keep them away and therefore to hang onto his younger users.
Millennials and Gen Z have completely integrated digital technology into their lives (sometimes leading to addiction), and this is a distinctive feature of these two generations. The addiction can be so strong that automobile fatalities–after declining for a generation because of anti-lock brakes and air bags–are now on the rise because of texting while driving. Even texting while walking has become an urban problem, as users look at their phones rather than the street while crossing with sometimes disastrous results.
There is nothing new about generational friction. It can even be the basis of great TV comedy, from classics like All in the Family or The Golden Girls to more contemporary shows like Black-ish, Bob’s Burgers or Modern Family.
Just as the rest of our divisions have always been with us but are now reaching dangerous (even frightening) levels, so too have the generational divides moved from amusing or frustrating to ugly.
Each generation has legitimate complaints. While different political parties can largely segregate themselves from the other and only expose themselves to the “facts” they like, we cannot segregate by generation. We cannot get rid of them, they are a fundamental presence in our lives. They come to Thanksgiving dinner.
Our only option (which is the solution for all divides) is to listen to the other side, get to know them, and try to find common ground. Or, as noted philosopher (and cartoon character) Pogo once said, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”
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Jeffrey Cole is the founder and director of The Center for the Digital Future at USC Annenberg.
See all columns from the center.
November 20, 2019